That is completely, and utterly… hilarious.

I don’t even have a middle name. The name “John” has too much baggage that goes with it. Think about it, and you’ll see that. For instance, a prostitute’s client is called a JOHN. When you gotta take a mean dump, you go to the John. When a girlfriend or wife leaves you, she writes a “Dear John” letter. When someone dies and they can’t find his identity, they just call him: John Doe. Can’t they cut us some slack? Maybe reassign one or two of other named for these designations. From now on, when I’m running to the toilet, I’ll say: “I gotta use the Brian”. And that body they found chopped up, and the body parts thrown into multiple dumpsters, henceforth, will be known as: Joe Doe.

I don’t think it’s silly, John, and I kinda know where you’re coming from. My son’s name is John (he was born in the late 70s). He was named after his deceased grandfather on his father’s side, which meant a lot to his father. So I know there are a lot of people who feel they are disrespecting their parents if they use another name.

That being said, at one point around 4th grade, John wanted to go by his middle name and we were fine with it and let him do it, even at school. That only lasted a year and then he went back to his given name forever. The only thing that ever came from that phase was there were a few kids that still called him Scott.

That’s just silly. Call yourself whatever you want.